Friday, September 06, 2013

Manmohan Singh in St Petersburg

Russian media has started  adoring India's prime minister who is attending the G 20 summit after finding him to be the most hard-working leader among the G 20ers. He acceded to their request for an interview. The media was immensely pleased. The media conference endeared him to the journalists totally.

Media: Mr.Prime Minister, we are amazed at your ability to keep working tirelessly. What makes you busy when other leaders are taking it easy?

PM: I am searching for coal files. I will leave no stone unturned.

Media: Sir, how do you expect those files to be here?

PM: I know they are not here. I also know they are in my office in New Delhi. Since I have assured my parliament that I will search everywhere to retrieve the missing files I am searching here also.

Media: We admire your respect for your parliament. Yet we feel you need to search in your office only.

PM: You do not understand. Any search in my office will lead to some more embarrassing files. I have no right to cause embarrassment to my leader.

Media: Will your leader not be offended by your admission that the missing files are in your office?

PM: Only my leader advised me to keep the files safely.

Media: Sir, strange things are happening in your country. It appears the CBI wants to interrogate you.

PM: I am not bothered. I am ready to respond in my usual transparent style.

Media: Meaning?

PM: I will maintain stoic silence.

Media: Your Supreme Court has said criminals cannot contest elections. We understand your ministers including Kapil Sibal are bristling with anger.

PM: My government respects the judiciary. Unfortunately the Supreme Court has misinterpreted the law. In order to remove any confusion, we are amending the law to reiterate that only criminals can enter parliament.

Media: Mr.Prime Minister, we admire your ability to multi-task. Even as you address us, you are simultaneously speaking on the landline.

PM: That is my duty. I am on the hotline.

Media: With Pakistan PM?

PM: Oh no, I am seeking instructions from my leader how to respond to some of your questions.

Media: Are you worried that the opposition parties in your country are becoming stronger?

PM: That is why I am seeking advice from your President, Vladimir Putin.

The prime minister received some instructions on the hotline and the media conference ended abruptly.

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