Riding the storm of life

Here is a nice narration on how to deal with life by Janina Gomes that recently appeared in TOI Speaking Tree.


Riding the storm of life




Janina Gomes
Jun 15, 2011, 12.00am IST

We do not have to go to the foot of the Himalayas to attain inner peace. We

also do not need to renounce everything before attaining quietude.

Instead, we can live day to day in inner quietude. If we look at all of

life's experiences and their disturbing content with inner eyes, the

disturbances we undergo will remain at the periphery. Deep down there will

be an emotional quiet.

Inner peace is all about coping. If the unpleasant and painful memories

remain too long with us, we will not make the transition that we are called

to make from restless non-acceptance to quiet acceptance.

We are in a win-win situation when we accept the challenge of living,

discriminating how far we should go along a certain track, who we should

relate to in more intimate terms and those we need to distance because their

values are so disparate from our own.

If we are self-sacrificing and wise, we will remain calm and tranquil

despite the provocations we face. We do not avoid difficult people and

circumstances, but learn to deal with them by distancing ourselves from them

and building on relationships that bring happiness.

Withdrawal is an option but it would lead to disengagement and

non-involvement and that does not bring required results. The inner peace we

crave for comes after traversing a long passage. Learning with experience,

we begin to take things in our stride. It's not all that easy, though.

There are many ways to cultivate and build on inner peace. We could set some

time aside daily for prayer and meditation. Disproportionate understanding

can blow up the way we perceive things. We could spend quiet time in the

garden, in silent communication with plants and trees. We endure life's

storms and learn to absorb its shocks and we find that we are, in fact, in

the midst of all these circumstances, communing with God, a tangible

presence in our lives.

Coping is not just reactive, it's proactive, too. We pick up the mantle

thrown to us and practise patience, detachment, endurance, serenity and

acceptance of all that comes our way. To overcome obstacles and difficulties

we need to develop coping skills that encompass emotional, mental and

spiritual needs.

The only difference between the wise and the foolish is that the wise learn

to cope with reality and transform it and the foolish get swept away by the

ups and downs of life.

Life is uncertain; it is unpredictable. It is also unfair, it seems. But in

learning to cope with all the ups and down of life, we begin to live a full

life.

There is the parable of the wise man in the gospels who built his house on

rock. It withstood all the rains and storms. On the other hand, the man who

built his house on sand watched his house get destroyed in the rain and

storm. Hence, we need to cultivate rock-like resilience and welcome

attributes that will help us to cope. The reward of inner strength is inner

peace. Right here, in your living room, your workplace, in your family you

will find inner peace. We do not have to look too far.

Once we learn to cope, the going will be easier and there will be no need

for camouflage. There is no need to hide our real selves. We will be able to

stand up and meet life on our own terms. And experience the fulfilment of a

pilgrimage well weathered